Gray Days and the Choice Before Me

Dec 14, 2014 | Conflict

It’s the weekend. The sky is gray and wet snow falls, gradually concealing the grass.

I sit at my desk, confined by the freezing temperatures and slippery streets.

Loneliness sets in, followed by worry. Soon a feeling of being unloved appears at the outer edges of my soul.

Everyone else has someone to be with this weekend.

My kids don’t call me.

Does anyone care about me right now?

I’ve started down a path in my thoughts…but I stop. I’m at a choice point: which way shall I go?

The direction I’ve headed is one that:

• Looks at my circumstances and finds what’s not perfect. Then dwells on it.

• Lets my emotions lead me. I take my feelings to be truth.

• Demands I do something to mask the darkness pounding on my heart’s door. I must find fancy food, watch a romantic or violent movie, call someone and vent all my troubles…something. I must rescue myself.

But I have a different choice. I can choose to:

• Stir up my faith and believe God is right here, right now:

Submerged beneath the surface of the visible world are mysteries too vast for you to comprehend. If you could only see how close I am to you and how constantly I work on your behalf, you would never again doubt that I am wonderfully caring for you. This is why you must live by faith not by sight.
— Jesus Calling

• Thank God for everything—the snow (badly needed moisture), the warmth inside the house, breakfast, work to do, times of quiet …everything.

• Open my heart in expectancy. Anything could happen with God leading the way.

I turn around and head back out of the dark place my circumstances, thoughts, and emotions have led me. I march toward faith.

The phone rings…

1 Comment

  1. Jeanene Fish Hunter

    Aloneness, especially during the holidays, and weekends, can be overwhelming. Thanks for your vulnerability, which helps me to direct myself back to my faith. By the way, I am so much missing Colorado snow.


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