The scary unknown ~ and the gift it brings

Don’t they make coffeemakers for just one person? The drip coffee pots at Walmart were all too big.

I choose the smallest—a 5-cup Mr. Coffee on sale for $8.99.

Back at my place I plug the pot into an extension cord from the living room. The kitchen outlets are all in use. I’m the new roommate and, although the others have cleared cupboards and a refrigerator shelf for me, plug-ins are scarce.

Lord, I’m not complaining. I know plenty of people on the planet don’t have a roof over their heads. I’m thankful—really.

It’s difficult to sustain a happy mood. I’m sharing a strange house with people I just met and sleeping on an unfamiliar bed. Not to mention no one else drinks coffee in the morning.

My life feels
foggy,
fragile,
unreal.

Lord is this truly your provision? Am I safe? Are you here?

I listen inwardly for God’s reassurance and perspective.

Truth dawns: this feeling of impermanence points to what’s real. One day I’ll die. Even more important, human life is a prelude to the real deal—eternal life with God. This transition is a merciful gift because it trains my heart to hold a dual focus: here and now, along with what comes next.

I see this dual focus as one of the biggest differences between what my Buddhist friends practice and my spiritual walk with Jesus. Buddhists are wonderful at staying in the here and now. They teach this moment-by-moment mindfulness to the rest of us who tend to look back with regret or forward with fantasized anticipation. “Stay present in your thoughts,” they say. “This is all you have.”

My life journey, however, is more like a love story. I’m the loved one and there’s a battle going on.

Who’s fighting for me? Jesus.

Who’s the enemy? Houses, cars, clothes—stuff. Famous people who seek my allegiance. Rampant desire for youth or beauty or the love of another human. Yes, my thoughts can be my enemy too. Anything I rely on, settle into, or yearn for that’s, well…temporary.

What’s the prize? My heart.

What am I going to do?

Change and the ensuing scary unknown can thrust me right into the loving arms of Jesus. Strengthen our ties. Deepen my trust in Him.

I decide to go to Him.

I breathe in the aroma of hazelnut dark roast coffee. Yes, I’ll savor this here-and-now moment.

I also breathe in the soft presence of my Lover. Thank you, Jesus. You are here. You and I—we’re forever and ever.

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